So today is the last day of 2013 and I slept for 10 hours straight. The last time I did that was when I had plastic surgery and the drugs were awesome. And just so you know, the bags under my eyes have still not grown back. That is a plastic surgery win in my book. But this blog post is not going to be about me being nipped, tucked, getting laser treatment or getting Botox. I am saving that for my forties. The nip and tuck part that is because the rest I have been doing for years. This blog post is going to reflect on the highs and lows I have experienced during 2013. Seeing as I live a very boring life this blog post is going to be short. I don’t want to bore you with all the insignificant details that make out the plethora of my meager existence. So like the time when I worked in intelligence and had to write boring reports for politicians who were too lazy to read I will make it concise and hope it doesn’t give you a sudden urge to take a nap. So here goes…
Like most years I like to start off the year being all optimistic, you know, making up silly New Year’s resolutions that nobody ever stick to. New Year’s resolutions like “this year I am going to live healthy, exercise and lose weight”. Yea right. Well I did not do any of that and I should really be ashamed of myself. In 2013 I gained 8kg and, like I like to see it, it is just more of me to love. In 2013 we also learned what gay guys really think about vaginas and it really should not have come as a surprise that most of us are terrified of them. I mean we all know that if it wasn’t for vaginas we would not be here but that doesn’t mean that we would want to revisit one, now do we?
On Valentine’s Day one of my far flung family members shot and killed his girlfriend and an international media circus started. Oscar Pistorius shot and killed Reeva Steenkamp, a woman very few of us ever heard of before this. Being sad and of great media interest the attention seeking homophobic Pastor from Cape Town also wanted his five minutes of fame and stated publically that Oscar was cursed for supporting gay rights. Naturally I lost my shit over this a little, but they say you should take it from whom it comes. Something I sometimes find hard to do. This year I also realized that Google is making us stupid. These days there really is no need to learn anything. If you want an answer to a question you just ask Google; if you want to be shown how something is done you ask YouTube. As technology evolves making life easier for us we as a human race are becoming ever lazier both mentally and physically.
This year I also had a rather unpleasant encounter with a drag queen that lost her mind. I answered some questions straight people always wanted to ask a gay guy and gave you reasons why I don’t want to friend your cock. And in an even stranger turn of events my cat almost got her own book deal. This year also saw me coming to terms with menopause. My own menopause! I. Almost. Died. I was diagnosed with early onset male menopause earlier this year and was started on hormone therapy. Luckily, or unluckily, I have not yet grown a second dick yet but the hormones did see me grow some extra man hair. Luckily there are wax as I don’t think I will rock the cave man look.
My long suffering husband and I also celebrated our 15th year anniversary this year. That’s like 40 in straight years. I also shared some stuff I do that annoys my husband which makes our 15 years together so amazing. This year was also a turning point in our relationship with us making one of the biggest decisions a couple can make and that is to have children. This year we started with the adoption process. It was a huge step to take and a somewhat arduous journey but we are looking forward to becoming a family of three in 2014. I know looking forward to 2am feeds, nappy changes, being thrown up on and many sleepless nights are not something most people get excited about. But hey, you all know I am different and I am super psyched about it and you can be sure to read all about poop, formula, sleep deprivation and all that goes along with new parenthood on my blog in 2014.
During 2013 I not only dealt with the lighter side of life but also with some of the darker sides. I wrote about addiction and how I have been personally affected by it and why I have not had any contact with my father for the last six years because of it. I also shared with you my dirty little secret with my life long battle with depression and why sometimes wallowing in self-pity can be liberating. I also dealt with religious inspired homophobia which is something I hope I will see disappearing in my lifetime as well as how the gay community can inspire hate and discrimination amongst ourselves. Also during 2013 I hit a low point in my blogging career where I briefly wondered whether I should not just quit my blog. But as you can see I pulled through my blogging slump and am still here. We also lost a great man this year. Nelson Mandela passed away and he was a man from which I drew great personal inspiration and he will be greatly missed but never forgotten.
2013 was by no means an easy year. Looking back over the last twelve months I am amazed at how much I grew both personally and spiritually. As I sit here writing this I am aware that I am almost at the beginning of what will be a new chapter in my life. 2014 will be a year of change, challenges, inspiration and great joy. We will be welcoming a new member into our family and I am sure our priorities will shift. 2013 has taught me patience, the importance of resilience, focus and that change is a good thing. So on this last day of 2013 I am not going to make any silly New Year’s resolutions, what I am going to do is make a promise to myself: I promise that in 2014 I will be the best version of myself that I can be, accept myself and all my flaws and embrace life.
Till next time.